October 13, 2014 11:11pm

So I just wished for you. Again. Like I have been for a year. I still don’t think you understand how I feel. You broke my heart. We may not have been dating, but that doesn’t change my feelings towards you. I thought we were gonna be together. We just had to wait like two more months until we could be happy together. I had a wild imagination, all my thoughts, thoughts about the future, with you in them. Whenever I thought of you, my heart would race and I would get this huge smile on my face and I wouldn’t be able to control it. They way you made me feel was indescribable and still the new feelings are indescribable, though I can try. Sharp pains in my heart. My heart in my stomach. I tried to eat and I couldn’t. The hour of food made me feel sick to my stomach. I just feel so stupid that I wasted so much time on you. I wasted other people’s time on you as well. For an entire year. Just to find out that we never had anything. I seriously thought we did. But you said we didn’t. But then again you said we did. I don’t understand you. You told me all these things and I sometimes doubted you and you told me to stop being so insecure. But I was right in my mind. And now I don’t know what to do. I know it’s stupid, but I almost based my entire future around. I don’t know what to do anymore. I guess I’ll just have to live on without you. I did before, I guess I can do it again even though I don’t want to.